12:57 PM
LaKeshia
I do not claim to be a relationship advisor, but having being married for five years and with my husband for ten years; I know a thing or two about disagreements and how to fight fair.
Recently, I was the ear to a venting wife, who was fed up with the lack of communication and respect in her marriage. At the time, the only advice I could give her was to pray and find a time where she and her husband could calmly discuss their issues. I have been thinking about our talk every since and I have come up with some basic “fighting fair in a relationship rules.”
I would have to admit that I have not always followed these guidelines when fighting with my husband, but I plan to take my own advice the next time we have a conflict.
Avoid Distractions: Find a time and place when both of you are calm and able to focus on the issue at hand.
Avoid Personal Attacks/Criticism: Remain focused on the issue that needs to be resolved instead of name-calling or mocking. Name-calling and/or mocking will make your partner get in defense mode and will not be listening to your point of view.
Be Calm and Sober: Do not resolve issues while you are angry or under the influence. Those circumstances may cause you to say something you really don’t mean and will not be able to take back.
Avoid the Past: Do not bring up past incidents and/or arguments. Bringing up the past will indicate to your partner that you have not forgotten or forgiven him/her for their past wrong doing.
Resolve the Issue: Don’t end the conversation/argument unresolved. Remember, the purpose of this conversation/argument was to resolve some issue, so do just that.
Posted in: Relationships
